Monday, January 08, 2007

I've Been Licked...

Since about last May I have had the "pleasure" (snort!) of dealing with 2 girls at work I call the Spoons. You know the kind, always stirring the shit pot. They treat work as there gossip place and customers are just annoyances that get in the way of causing trouble. The kitchen manager would get on them time after time but they always seemed to cry and sweetie pie there way out of getting fired. Okay I have to give the Spoons names in order to continue. The first utensil is one of those not so good looking girls whom believes she is very attractive and that every male wants her. She is married mind you but as she so often reminded everyone "shes not dead." I have several names I'd like to call her but I think "Skank" shall suffice. The second is very well endowed in the chest region and has a humoungous pile of frizzy blonde hair. I reference the blonde because this is her biggest self defence mechanism in her tool box. She is notorious for saying very innocently "I didn't know that." Like if you were to say to her,

"You didn't rotate the salad bar items last night and you put the fresh stuff on top of the old and we had to throw out all of it."

"I didn't know I was suppose to rotate it."

"You were told the very same thing 2 days ago"

"I didn't know you meant all the time."

So she shall be named "Bimbo". It didn't take me long to figure out Skank and Bimbo. They like to stir up shit because that shit would distract others away from their shit. Their only problem was that I didn't fall for it and that made me the enemy. For most of the summer I butted heads with these two, but once the busy season peaked I mostly just had to pressure them to keep there hours down. I don't want to give the impression that it was always tense with them, I actually still had conversations with them and they still came crying to me when they had a bitch. Bimbo I knew had a deep hatred of me, but I felt if she could be pleasant so could I. Skank would come into the office quite often on her shift and tell me stories of her life. So it was an easy truce you could say....until Thursday night. My bartender in the lanes was ill and even though I had spent all day in the office I was the only one available to work. A married couple we have working for us were on shift in the kitchen. I've had my ups and downs with them also, but they have come to despise the "Spoons" because of their work ethics and gossiping. Anyway husband comes over to the lanes and tells me he has something he needs to tell me. He tells me that when Skank was helping break him in that she regaled him with stories of things she did to people's food when she doesn't like them. I, ranking number one on her list was a frequent victim. Supposedly her favorite thing to do was to lick my cheese she put on my sandwiches and hamburgers. I order club sandwiches quite often, a sandwich that does not require the cheese to be heated. I thanked him for the information and waited until he was out of sight to start convulsing with dry heaves. If only I was brazen enough to post her picture, you could understand how disgusting the image of this skanky, meth pocked bitch licking my food brought to my mind.
The new kitchen manager whom was hired last month was appalled when I informed her the next morning. Since it was payday we decided to call her and Bimbo into the office when they came in. Bimbo was present when Skank told husband about this. Skank and Bimbo were also in trouble for telling a customer how they wouldn't eat at the restaurant because the food sucks and the prices are way too high two nights earlier resulting in a loss of 5 customers walking out. Skank denied licking my food and became so enraged that the manager had to walk out of the office in order not to slap her. I sat behind my desk and watched her antics while visualizing snapping her neck. I think she saw it in my eyes, because she left. Bimbo shows up 2 hours later, acting all innocent. We get her in the office and she laughingly says that husband had misunderstood Skank and it wasn't my food she was licking it was a fellow workers she was doing it too. Thus confirming, that yes Skank is tampering with food. Did you hear the axe fall? Bimbo also confirms that she and Skank have told people not to eat at the restaurant, but she will not do it again. "I didn't know that would hurt business" At this point neither one of them has been fired. Upon further discussion, the manager concludes she will be firing Skank, but not Bimbo.
The next day Bimbo calls the manager to find out if she still has a job. According to Bimbo, Skank is quitting and wants Bimbo to quit with her. The manager tells Bimbo that if she can do her job and not cause conflicts that she may stay. Bimbo says she agrees to behave on one condition. That condition is that if I have anything to say to her at all that I am to do so through her attorney. Okay then, that should work just peachy! The manager told Bimbo that was a prime example of starting conflict. Bimbo says maybe she should find another job, the manager agrees. Skank calls and asks if she should consider her job gone, ummm...yeah. So Skank and Bimbo are no longer employed with us, but living in a small town does not relieve me of having to deal with them. They'll just go to another shit pot and commence stirring.