I received a phone call this morning that Hubster's Dad has passed away. He died very quickly basically in his sleep. I wasn't sure what to do after I got the call though. Hubster is a logger and hence works in the woods. He does have a cell phone in his work truck which he will be in when they break for lunch. I called the company office and left a message for him to call me. I really debated on what to do for a couple of reasons. First is that knowing Hubster he will remain at work and I worry about him operating his machine when his mind is completely focused on the job. Secondly Hubster's relationship with his Dad hasn't been the best. When Hubster was six his mother passed away from a brain tumor. His brother was 12 at the time and his sister was around 13 or so. Hubster's Dad was working away from home at the time of her passing and continued to do so leaving Hubster's sister pretty much in charge of running the household. Now I can certainly understand that he needed to keep working to support the family that I don't have a problem with. What the problem was is that shortly after her death he started to romance a bartender from his favorite watering hole. Hubster's Dad developed quite the drinking problem and his new love was an alcoholic. With his new love, going home wasn't a priority and he basically left the kids to raise themselves. Hubster talks about how they had popcorn for breakfast. They would put sugar and milk on it just like cereal. The other main staple was rice and macaroni which were bought in bulk. Looking through Hubster's baby book breaks my heart. His mom detailed every event in his baby book to the most minute events. After she died his sister took over writing in her girlish handwriting trying to be just like Mom. Hubster's sister became pregnant around 15 and ran off with her boyfriend. With sister not there to care for Hubster, his Dad moved his new love in along with her 1 yr old son. Within a year the new love was pregnant and the resulting baby became the total focus. Throughout this Hubster was never properly told why his mom had died. The only thing he knew was that the last time he saw her was from his time out chair. He had been a bad boy resulting in him being put in a time out. His mom did not know she had a brain tumor and was suffering from a tremendous headache. She called one of her sister-in-laws to come take her to the doctor. She was taken to the hospital while Hubster stayed home with another Aunt. She died a week later. All Hubster knew was that she had a bad headache and she died. He thought he gave his mom the headache from being a bad boy. Once Hubster reached the age of 9 or so his dad and new love developed a passion for camping. Every weekend they would leave Hubster and his brother home with his 2 little step brothers. His older brother would never come home for the weekend instead partied with his friends leaving Hubster alone with these toddlers. Hubster claims he is the one that potty trained his youngest step brother. Anyway the gist of all this rambling is Hubster's Dad chose to not be a Dad when his kids needed him the most. Hubster's sister has not spoken to their Dad since the day she left at 15 yrs old. She has told all of us that the only time we are to speak of their Dad is to call and let her know when he's dead. I guess that time has come.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
As if our lives weren't busy enough we decided "Lets get a puppy!!" Those of you who may have recently or can recall having a new puppy will understand that shortly after getting Fudge, I also purchased a brand new carpet shampooer. Note the lovely icy blue shade of my carpet? Not so lovely with little yellow pee spots and other stains I don't want to mention. I have actually purchased two carpet shampooers. I already had an old Sears canister style shampooer that works really well, but is a pain in the butt to deal with when it comes time to emptying the dirty water. So first I purchased one of those little green machine ones for emergency spot cleaning. I thought this would be ideal with a new puppy in the house and 2 little boys plus 1 big boy whom in one way or another find some way to get stains on my carpet on a daily basis. Well it does work wonders for those quickie cleanups, but I found its kind of like wiping a spot off of the wall. You know how when you wipe say a fingerprint off of the wall and then you have this clean spot on a wall that really didn't look dirty until you revealed the true paint color underneath and then you end up washing the whole wall. Well spot cleaning the carpet ended up the same way. I ended up crawling around my livingroom "spot" cleaning over half the damn thing until I was forced to quit to make dinner. So two weeks later I still have a nice 10 x 12 clean section of carpet mocking me everytime I walk through the livingroom. Anyways last week as I'm browsing the through the latest influx of catalogs I receive I came across one with vacuums and cleaners. I found an upright steam cleaner that made my heart beat with abandon at the simplicity of it. One tank that holds the clean water and the dirty water shortening the trips to the sink. My newest addition to my cleaning arsenal arrived today. I saw the box as soon as rounded the curve in the driveway and I swear it had a heavenly glow surrounding it. This is concrete proof my life is in a major rut if I'm getting that excited over a steam cleaner. Anyhoo, I'm really excited to try that baby out.
My bestest friend Diana is coming to spend the night Saturday. Her ex still lives here in town and she is staying with me while her son spends some time with his father. I always enjoy when Diana comes to visit. She has stayed with us off and on enough through the years that she feels comfortable and makes her self at home. The only problem I ever have when I know that she is coming is I feel this urge to scrub every nook and cranny. Note that I said urge, I attempt but it always seems like something halts my progress to perfection. The reason I feel this way is because Diana has always been the ultimate housekeeper no matter the circumstances in her life. I remember one time, when she still lived here, I stopped by her house for an unannounced visit. As we were visiting she was folding clothes in a fashion that would make an upscale clothing store green with envy. She fed Layne a snack and as we talked she washed his bowl and spoon dried them off and put them back in the cupboard. She then filled the sink up with about 2 inches of hot water and added a capful of bleach in with the dishsoap. Using this solution she wiped down his high chair and her already glistening countertop. She checked in the oven to see how her casserole was coming along for dinner. Her vacuum was sitting out which I assumed she had just used as her carpet still showed the vacuum tracks. As I was getting ready to leave she unwrapped the cord from the vacuum and plugged it in and as I was walking to the car I could hear her vacuuming away. At this time in her life Layne was 15 months old, she had 2 active step daughters 9 and 11 yrs. old and a lazy husband plus she was a full time teacher. I walked away from her house in awe. I know this is her natural tendencies because when she is here visiting she will unconciously wipe my counters off and straighten the pile of junk mail I have laying on the counter. If anyone else were to come and start doing that sort of thing I'd slap them upside the head, but with her it just seems normal. Maybe I shouldn't attempt any cleaning and just set my cleaning stuff on the counter and see how far she'll go. Hee!
Posted by Jo at 7:39 PM
Monday, November 13, 2006
I am not going to make excuses of why I haven't posted for so long, to say the least I'm very disappointed in myself. So where were we....
The parents returned to Arizona mid October, so we are once again burning the phone lines. Dad is doing much better so I felt at ease with their decision to head south. I was however disappointed that we wouldn't be sharing the holidays together. Its funny that I partially started this journal so they could keep up on how the boys were doing and they haven't once seen this. I think I'm going to have to give them a little more of detailed lesson on internet usage.
Lets see... work is still busy as usual. I swear I have never witnessed such drama in my life. Every week its something different. There is one event I'm dying to document here, but its best left until things come to a conclusion. I'll definitely write about it then.
Our current kitchen manager whom I just adore is having to retire due to medical reasons. And such an event brings out the vultures. Ever since she started limping and not doing well, several of her staff started circling and trying to impress the BossMan with their wit and whatever else they can flaunt. Its been very interesting to say the least watching their true character arise.
Geesh! Now I remember why I don't post entries anymore. I started writing this hours ago, but people in this house keep getting in my face. Mom, I need (insert "current urgent must have it now or I'll die" need here), Mom he's hitting me, and the most gutsy of them all is Mr. Hi Honey I'm home Whats for dinner? Bite me big boy. Which brings me to my latest rant. Since I started working full time the share of the housework has not been divided or thirded or eigthed or..oh for craps sake I'm suprised they all don't ask me to wipe their butts for them. Every once in awhile I lose it and rant and rage at the boys about picking up toys, coats, shoes, etc and they're good for about 4 hours. Hubster on the other hand I do not rage at since I know from experience he will put up sound proof walls and not trully hear me anyways. Plus if I rage I may say things I really don't mean and once said they can't be taken back or forgiven. So for the last month I have been working my 40-50 hours a week, taking care of the boys needs, shopping, cleaning and basically getting more exhausted and unhappy. I know they say that in a healthy relationship that you should express your needs to your partner. You know what? I can't bring myself to sit a 44 yr old man down and say honey I'm overwhelmed. As far as I'm concerned he should be able to open his eyes himself and think gosh instead of sitting here watching fight night I could maybe help in someway so she wouldn't have so much on her plate. The proverbial frying pan may have hit him on the head though, I think he is realizing that when Mama ain't happy he ain't get no somethin' somethin'. On Sunday everytime I brought laundry in the bedroom, he would help me fold it and put it away. He even swept the kitchen that day. Tonight he rinsed dishes while I put them in the dishwasher. I think the boy has gotten a clue finally. Now if I could only raise up enough energy to reward him properly I'd be set.
Posted by Jo at 4:21 PM