Bad News

I received a phone call this morning that Hubster's Dad has passed away. He died very quickly basically in his sleep. I wasn't sure what to do after I got the call though. Hubster is a logger and hence works in the woods. He does have a cell phone in his work truck which he will be in when they break for lunch. I called the company office and left a message for him to call me. I really debated on what to do for a couple of reasons. First is that knowing Hubster he will remain at work and I worry about him operating his machine when his mind is completely focused on the job. Secondly Hubster's relationship with his Dad hasn't been the best. When Hubster was six his mother passed away from a brain tumor. His brother was 12 at the time and his sister was around 13 or so. Hubster's Dad was working away from home at the time of her passing and continued to do so leaving Hubster's sister pretty much in charge of running the household. Now I can certainly understand that he needed to keep working to support the family that I don't have a problem with. What the problem was is that shortly after her death he started to romance a bartender from his favorite watering hole. Hubster's Dad developed quite the drinking problem and his new love was an alcoholic. With his new love, going home wasn't a priority and he basically left the kids to raise themselves. Hubster talks about how they had popcorn for breakfast. They would put sugar and milk on it just like cereal. The other main staple was rice and macaroni which were bought in bulk. Looking through Hubster's baby book breaks my heart. His mom detailed every event in his baby book to the most minute events. After she died his sister took over writing in her girlish handwriting trying to be just like Mom. Hubster's sister became pregnant around 15 and ran off with her boyfriend. With sister not there to care for Hubster, his Dad moved his new love in along with her 1 yr old son. Within a year the new love was pregnant and the resulting baby became the total focus. Throughout this Hubster was never properly told why his mom had died. The only thing he knew was that the last time he saw her was from his time out chair. He had been a bad boy resulting in him being put in a time out. His mom did not know she had a brain tumor and was suffering from a tremendous headache. She called one of her sister-in-laws to come take her to the doctor. She was taken to the hospital while Hubster stayed home with another Aunt. She died a week later. All Hubster knew was that she had a bad headache and she died. He thought he gave his mom the headache from being a bad boy. Once Hubster reached the age of 9 or so his dad and new love developed a passion for camping. Every weekend they would leave Hubster and his brother home with his 2 little step brothers. His older brother would never come home for the weekend instead partied with his friends leaving Hubster alone with these toddlers. Hubster claims he is the one that potty trained his youngest step brother. Anyway the gist of all this rambling is Hubster's Dad chose to not be a Dad when his kids needed him the most. Hubster's sister has not spoken to their Dad since the day she left at 15 yrs old. She has told all of us that the only time we are to speak of their Dad is to call and let her know when he's dead. I guess that time has come.

Meet Fudge

As if our lives weren't busy enough we decided "Lets get a puppy!!" Those of you who may have recently or can recall having a new puppy will understand that shortly after getting Fudge, I also purchased a brand new carpet shampooer. Note the lovely icy blue shade of my carpet? Not so lovely with little yellow pee spots and other stains I don't want to mention. I have actually purchased two carpet shampooers. I already had an old Sears canister style shampooer that works really well, but is a pain in the butt to deal with when it comes time to emptying the dirty water. So first I purchased one of those little green machine ones for emergency spot cleaning. I thought this would be ideal with a new puppy in the house and 2 little boys plus 1 big boy whom in one way or another find some way to get stains on my carpet on a daily basis. Well it does work wonders for those quickie cleanups, but I found its kind of like wiping a spot off of the wall. You know how when you wipe say a fingerprint off of the wall and then you have this clean spot on a wall that really didn't look dirty until you revealed the true paint color underneath and then you end up washing the whole wall. Well spot cleaning the carpet ended up the same way. I ended up crawling around my livingroom "spot" cleaning over half the damn thing until I was forced to quit to make dinner. So two weeks later I still have a nice 10 x 12 clean section of carpet mocking me everytime I walk through the livingroom. Anyways last week as I'm browsing the through the latest influx of catalogs I receive I came across one with vacuums and cleaners. I found an upright steam cleaner that made my heart beat with abandon at the simplicity of it. One tank that holds the clean water and the dirty water shortening the trips to the sink. My newest addition to my cleaning arsenal arrived today. I saw the box as soon as rounded the curve in the driveway and I swear it had a heavenly glow surrounding it. This is concrete proof my life is in a major rut if I'm getting that excited over a steam cleaner. Anyhoo, I'm really excited to try that baby out.

My bestest friend Diana is coming to spend the night Saturday. Her ex still lives here in town and she is staying with me while her son spends some time with his father. I always enjoy when Diana comes to visit. She has stayed with us off and on enough through the years that she feels comfortable and makes her self at home. The only problem I ever have when I know that she is coming is I feel this urge to scrub every nook and cranny. Note that I said urge, I attempt but it always seems like something halts my progress to perfection. The reason I feel this way is because Diana has always been the ultimate housekeeper no matter the circumstances in her life. I remember one time, when she still lived here, I stopped by her house for an unannounced visit. As we were visiting she was folding clothes in a fashion that would make an upscale clothing store green with envy. She fed Layne a snack and as we talked she washed his bowl and spoon dried them off and put them back in the cupboard. She then filled the sink up with about 2 inches of hot water and added a capful of bleach in with the dishsoap. Using this solution she wiped down his high chair and her already glistening countertop. She checked in the oven to see how her casserole was coming along for dinner. Her vacuum was sitting out which I assumed she had just used as her carpet still showed the vacuum tracks. As I was getting ready to leave she unwrapped the cord from the vacuum and plugged it in and as I was walking to the car I could hear her vacuuming away. At this time in her life Layne was 15 months old, she had 2 active step daughters 9 and 11 yrs. old and a lazy husband plus she was a full time teacher. I walked away from her house in awe. I know this is her natural tendencies because when she is here visiting she will unconciously wipe my counters off and straighten the pile of junk mail I have laying on the counter. If anyone else were to come and start doing that sort of thing I'd slap them upside the head, but with her it just seems normal. Maybe I shouldn't attempt any cleaning and just set my cleaning stuff on the counter and see how far she'll go. Hee!

Hello...remember me?

I am not going to make excuses of why I haven't posted for so long, to say the least I'm very disappointed in myself. So where were we....
The parents returned to Arizona mid October, so we are once again burning the phone lines. Dad is doing much better so I felt at ease with their decision to head south. I was however disappointed that we wouldn't be sharing the holidays together. Its funny that I partially started this journal so they could keep up on how the boys were doing and they haven't once seen this. I think I'm going to have to give them a little more of detailed lesson on internet usage.

Lets see... work is still busy as usual. I swear I have never witnessed such drama in my life. Every week its something different. There is one event I'm dying to document here, but its best left until things come to a conclusion. I'll definitely write about it then.

Our current kitchen manager whom I just adore is having to retire due to medical reasons. And such an event brings out the vultures. Ever since she started limping and not doing well, several of her staff started circling and trying to impress the BossMan with their wit and whatever else they can flaunt. Its been very interesting to say the least watching their true character arise.

Geesh! Now I remember why I don't post entries anymore. I started writing this hours ago, but people in this house keep getting in my face. Mom, I need (insert "current urgent must have it now or I'll die" need here), Mom he's hitting me, and the most gutsy of them all is Mr. Hi Honey I'm home Whats for dinner? Bite me big boy. Which brings me to my latest rant. Since I started working full time the share of the housework has not been divided or thirded or eigthed or..oh for craps sake I'm suprised they all don't ask me to wipe their butts for them. Every once in awhile I lose it and rant and rage at the boys about picking up toys, coats, shoes, etc and they're good for about 4 hours. Hubster on the other hand I do not rage at since I know from experience he will put up sound proof walls and not trully hear me anyways. Plus if I rage I may say things I really don't mean and once said they can't be taken back or forgiven. So for the last month I have been working my 40-50 hours a week, taking care of the boys needs, shopping, cleaning and basically getting more exhausted and unhappy. I know they say that in a healthy relationship that you should express your needs to your partner. You know what? I can't bring myself to sit a 44 yr old man down and say honey I'm overwhelmed. As far as I'm concerned he should be able to open his eyes himself and think gosh instead of sitting here watching fight night I could maybe help in someway so she wouldn't have so much on her plate. The proverbial frying pan may have hit him on the head though, I think he is realizing that when Mama ain't happy he ain't get no somethin' somethin'. On Sunday everytime I brought laundry in the bedroom, he would help me fold it and put it away. He even swept the kitchen that day. Tonight he rinsed dishes while I put them in the dishwasher. I think the boy has gotten a clue finally. Now if I could only raise up enough energy to reward him properly I'd be set.

Journalversary!!

It just dawned on me that I missed my first "journalversary" on August 4th. Last year at this time I was sweating Steven starting kindergarten. This year has flown by.
Unlike last year I am so ready for school to start. The boys are at each others throats constantly. I can't blame them though, they've been each others playmate all summer long. Steven isn't overly excited about school, but I am real pleased with whom his teacher will be and I think school will be a more pleasant experience for him. I'm also excited for Dean to start making his own friends instead of through Steven. All in all I think it will be a good school year. Look at me! I'm thinking so positively!
Work has been the shits lately. I still love what I'm doing, but I'm loathing the bullshit that goes with employees. The kitchen manager has been there for several years and has recently been having problems with her hip. She is in the process of doctoring to figure out what the hell is going on. In the meantime, the other cooks are like vultures circling in for the kill. Just on Wednesday I heard that one cook thinks it will be her that gets the manager's position and I also heard that the new male cook announced he is the new manager. Christ she hasn't even gotten word from her mri or has hinted she is quitting. I'm afraid that the Big Boss has offered the job to the male cook trying to cover his bases. I don't blame him looking ahead, but this male cook will put the restaurant into a spiral dive to its death. The other part of the male cook rumor was that his wife who is a waitress has been offered my job as the motel manager. That pisses me off. Not so much that I wouldn't mind handing off that task, just that it was done behind my back. Big Boss has been out of town since I heard the rumor and should be back tomorrow. As soon as I get him cornered I'll definitely be asking him a few questions.
Okay I'm off to watch the news and hit the hay. Later.

School Dazed

Can you believe its time for the kids to be going to school already? Where the hell did summer go? Steven guilted the hell out of me this afternoon when he commented, "Mom, you & I need to play a video game or something together cause we need some quality time together." He is 6 yrs old, when did 6 year olds start making statements like this? We didn't play video games, but did read a couple of books together. He even read a paragraph out of a book about wildcats. It still amazes me he came out of kindergarten being able to read with little help. He starts school right after Labor Day, so for the next 2 weeks I'm going to make it my goal to get out of the office in 3 hours, spend the afternoon with my boys and finish up work after dinner. I am so ungodly tired by the time evening rolls around I don't have the energy to play with the boys. Hopefully my work doesn't suffer.
The 12th was my sister's birthday so I called her on the last available phone # she gave me and left a cheery message. I haven't heard a word from her and to tell you the truth I'm not suprised. At least I'm making an effort, right?
Dean will be starting preschool this fall and he is so nervous about making friends. He keeps asking me in this little quivering boy voice, "How do you make friends Mama?" Steven has always been very social and with very little coaxing will approach other kids. Dean on the other hand is the skirt hanger, that is if I wore skirts. Anyways...I'm going through the scenario already of Dean death gripping me on his first day. I think I'll be smart and have the weekend bookkeeper work for me that day just in case I need to stay for awhile with Deanie. Who knows he may be like Steven and run off with the other kids and not even know I exist. I just hope he has a good group of kids in his class. Steven had a kid in his preschool I had to restrain myself from thumping on several times. Dean has a tender little heart as does Steven, but Dean has got Mama's fiery temper so I'll probably be the Mom getting the phone calls that Dean pounded on some kid.
Mom and Dad are going back to Arizona for sure this fall. Dad has been doing really well physically, but mentally the stroke has been harder to overcome. He is one of those typical strong tough do it yourself type guys that this sidelined him pretty hard to feel so vulnerable. He was laying pretty low for the first month after the stroke taking it easy which seemed the right thing to do considering. But none of us could accept that this would be how Dad would spend the rest of his life. It took sometime to get his blood thinner and blood pressure medications dosed just right to where he wouldn't get dizzy. During this time a wonderful wise nurse told him, "You know, we'll get your meds regulated out eventually, but at some point you are going to decide to start living and get out of the recliner and we'll have to go through all this redosing again. So why don't you start living life and lets get these meds dosed correctly now." Best thing anyone could have said to him. He's still not out and working like he used to, but he needed to slow down anyway. I hate that they are going to Arizona. My biggest fear is something will happen to either of them down there. Uggh, I can't think that way.
Later.

No Answers.

Earlier this evening as I was highlighting a friend's hair I got a phone call that totally tripped me up. The caller was my nephew Larry. I haven't seen Larry for almost 3 yrs now since we had a little impromptu family reunion. Larry is my sister's youngest boy. I can't remember if I've ever mentioned my sister here so if I have pretend this is all new. My sister is 7 yrs older than me and I idolized her growing up. She has beautiful big blue eyes and long blonde hair which always has made me feel like the plain hazel eyed little girl in comparison. When I was 9 and Lynn was 16 Dad got promoted which prompted a move from our little town. I left the security of my friends and Lynn said goodbye to her first love. About 4 months after the move our family's life was changed with a secret my sister had been carrying. That secret she was carrying was revealed in that she was pregnant. My Dad had a pretty high profile job in law enforcement something that he had sacrificed his family for to become the best. This unexpected development was not something that made my Dad happy. Lynn was past the point that abortion was an option so she moved back to our little town and became a wife and soon to be mother. Pretty tough change for a 16 yr old girl. Dad and Lynn's relationship was pretty much destroyed and soon we were lucky if we heard from Lynn once a year. Lynn went on to have 3 kids over the next 6 years. Lynn's life as a wife was not a bed of roses, but one of mental and at times physical abuse. After I graduated high school and was attending beauty school Lynn ran from her abusive life and left her children with her husband to move in with me. For 3 yrs we lived together and got to know each other as adults instead of just siblings. During this time Lynn lived the life she didn't have the chance to being a young mother and being shrouded by her jealous, abusive husband. She wasn't making enough money to take care of her kids so they remained with their Dad. Eventually Lynn remarried a carefree, full of life guy she met at work. When her daughter reached the age of 12 she chose to live with Lynn. The boys lived shortly with Lynn later on but returned to live with their Dad. Lynn got a job doing security with a department store and climbed the ladder in the company to now where she is the district manager. Which is pretty damn good for a high school drop out. The only problem in this whole scenario is she hasn't seen either of her boys 13 yrs. She didn't see them graduate, she hasn't seen the women they chose to marry and she hasn't held their children. My parents haven't talked to her in almost 6 yrs. now. About 2 yrs ago, I tracked Lynn down and found that she had been seriously ill. She was close to death at one point and was struggling to find a cure for a condition the doctor's couldn't figure out. We talked and emailed off and on for about 4 months. During this time I updated her on her kid's lives. She claimed to want to make contact with them saying her illness had shown her that family is what really counts, not how good you are at your job. Eventually our contact lessened and before I knew it 5 months had gone by without a word from Lynn. After Dad had his stroke I tried contacting Lynn with the number and email I had used before. I have not heard a word from her. I truly don't know if she is alive or what. Now tonight I've got my 27 year old nephew searching for answers to why his Mom abandon him. As a mother myself I can't for the world give him an answer. I look at my boys and I cannot imagine a single thing they could ever do that would cause me to turn my back on them. My heart breaks for this young man who has a wife and child he so wants to share with his Mom. He is a man who will always wonder what did he do so wrong as to not have his Mom want to be in his life. I have no answers, no comfort to give and at this point all I can do is give him my love, but I don't think this will help.

Burn Baby Burn!

Five weeks ago my throat started getting scratchy and sore. Since my babysitter's daughter was being treated for strep, I figured I better get my ass into the doctor. Strep test came back negative, but since I've had sinus congestion since Dec. my doctor gave me a prescription for a 3 week run of antibiotics. A week into the antibiotics my sore throat turned into a sensation like I had food stuck in my throat. So I go back in for another check up. Well Doc can't see that far down my throat and tells me since I'm a smoker he is sending me to an ENT specialist to see if I have throat cancer. Now you would think that I would have thrown my pack of cigarettes in the garbage right then and there. I would have if I had them with me at the moment, but they were at home. By the time I got home I was majorly freaking out and wanted a smoke. Can we say addiction? For the next 6 days I planned my funeral, picked out women I thought would make a good mother and wife to fill my shoes, rocked my boys to sleep instead of just tucking them in, got angry and vowed to fight for my life, pictured how I'd hold my head up high when I lost my hair, basically I rode a rollercoaster of emotions. The appointment day comes and they spray this nasty tasting shit up my nostrils and insert a rubber looking tube up my nose and down my throat. I now "get" the point of up your nose with a rubber hose, it ain't fun people. The verdict, no sign of cancer. Thank you lord! Diagnosis is gastric acid reflux disease. I never in my life thought I had a problem with acid reflux. I don't get heart burn, hell I take tums just so I get some calcium once in a blue moon and I like the fruity flavor. The Doc told me you can have GERD and not experience heart burn. He said I'm probably having heartburn while I'm sleeping which makes me cough, wakes me enough that I roll over and go back to the ZZZ's and repeat through the night. From the pile of pamplets from the ENT's office and reading about GERD on the internet this isn't something to take lightly. And I have all the causes of GERD..overweight, smoking, late night eating. Can we say lifestyle changes? Fuck, fuckity, fuck! Can I do this? I've cut out the late night snacks that was a no brainer. Quitting smoking...damn, "I see the bitch a comin', she's coming around the bend". Lose weight...tried off and on for 15 years and ummm still fat. So I'll have my pity party, cry my eyes out, blow some snot bubbles and make changes. I've been on Pril0sec for 4 days now and I still feel like I have a half of piece of bread stuck in my throat. In 30 days if I still have this feeling I'll have to go have an upper g.i. and chug some chalky shit down to see whats up or down or whatever. We'll see either way.
Later.

You Go Bitch!

I don't get some women. Why is it alright to make fun of and belittle someone? And then all of these other bitches pour from the cracks to join in to take there stabs. Are people that damn insecure with themselves they have to put someone else down to make themselves feel superior? I deal with 25 women at work and every damn day one of them is in my office whining because such and such is talking about me. You know what? Get a fucking backbone. Walk up to the mouthy bitch and say "You have something to say? Say it to my face right here, right now." How hard is that? You don't have to yell or get physical, just stand up for yourself.
I've been reading a certain journal for several years and have always enjoyed her, but for the past few months she has been making fun of another journaler. Oh she's quite considerate and mentions in her notify emails she is going to be trash talking so if you don't want to read..don't. How considerate! What I wonder is why she has to vent her dislike in the first place? If she doesn't like to read the gal's journal..don't. I realize that everyone claims they write in their journal for themselves, thats fine if you're really aware of yourself. One time of mentioning I don't like this gal's journal would have been plain enough. Point made. But continually trashing her paints a bigger picture. When I look at this picture I see insecurity, I see a jealous woman, I see a very unhappy person, and mainly I see bitch. The saddest part of this whole ordeal is that when she posts these trash entries is her comments go through the roof with the other vultures coming in to rip a chunk off. So I see the reward, you get to be a condescending bitch and cream your jeans because all these lovely women commented "You're so cool!" "You are such a funny bitch!". I bet she just glows with pride.
Okay enough of that. Later.

In the Blink of an Eye

My girlfriend Diana and her son Layne have been here for about a week so that we can get prepared for our 19th annual yard sale. In amoungst pricing and sorting items, I've been working at the office in the mornings, planning meals to everyones liking, trying to be a good wife and mother. Just being busy. Earlier tonight as I was stirring dinner, I hear a siren approaching and wonder what could have happened and where? Fire? Car wreck? When the siren stops at my driveway. My heart stops then races. I knew nothing was wrong at our house, so who are they looking for? My aunt and uncle next door? My Mom or Dad? My brother or sil? Or one of their boys? Who? It gives me peace that my family lives so close together, until times like this. I immediately call my parents house and when a close friend of Mom's answers the phone I know there is a trouble. Connie tells me my Dad has collapsed. I'm one of these people who stays in control in a crisis so I turn down the burners on the stove and announce to Hubster and Diana I will be right back that I have to run down to Mom and Dad's. When I arrive the ambulance crew is in the process of trying to get Dad off the floor onto the stretcher. Mom's eyes are round and frightened as I hold her and soothe her. When they get Dad on the stretcher I approached in order to place my hand on him and look in his eyes to acknowledge I am there for him and for Mom. When I look in his eyes, I say "Daddy." He turns to my voice and in his eyes I see nothing. No acknowledgement, no fear, no pain...nothing. Immediately I feel fear, but I push it aside. I make sure Mom has all of Dad's medication. I make sure she knows their dog Sissy will be taken care of. I let her know I will be following her down to the hospital. On the way home I'm planning. I'll have Diana drive me so Hubster can be with the boys in case I'm gone overnight. I change into jeans and grab a jacket since it has still been chilly at night. When we arrive at the hospital Dad is in the ER. He's still consious but this time when I approach I see Daddy's eyes looking into mine. We are informed he has had a stroke. Dad remembers everything. He and Mom were having a dinner party out on the deck. He went into the kitchen for something and he said his whole right side went numb and he collapsed to the floor. Mom didn't hear him call out at first, but when she did she found him on the floor unable to move. Apparently when I arrived was at the worst moment for he said he knew what was happening, but couldn't respond. At the ER he progressively regained feeling and strength. At one point it was just Dad & I in the room and I could tell he was feeling discomfort. He said he had a tightness in his chest. The doctor took him for a chest xray & did an ekg. Nothing showed on either test to explain the chest pain. They had given him a drug that would prevent further stroke or heart problems when Dad arrived in the ER. Because of the medication we were waiting for Life Flight to take him to a bigger sister hospital. He needed to be near a surgeon if need any complications arose. As we were waiting for the helicopter I asked Dad if he still had the chest pain and if it was steady or came & went. He replied it would come & go. To lighten the mood I asked him if the pain came on when I walked in the room. Dad very seriously said "No, when you come in the pain is here.", pointing at his right butt cheek. At that point I knew he was whole and my Daddy. I'm worried, but I have this feeling that all will be well.

Counting

Almost a friggin' month since I updated last. Jeesh!

Steven is done with t-ball. He really improved through the season as did all the kids. His last game, he hit one over the kids heads into the outfield. Everyone was all "Good hit Steve!" and as he ran by me on his way to first base he points at me and say "That was for you Mama!" That got an awe from everyone in the crowd. I of course was beaming with pride and love. My favorite Steven moment for me was one day he got in the car after a game and said "Mom! Weren't you proud of me, I didn't pick my nose or play with my pee pee once!" Yes, very proud.

Dean is quickly losing any baby qualities and is becoming pure boy. He has learned to count to 10, so everything in this house is counted. Well at least to 10, then we start at 1 again. Although I am very happy with his mathematical genius, I didn't need him to announce at breakfast yesterday to daddy, "Mama farted 2 times in the kitchen." Which led to a joyful conversation between Dad and sons about how that darn Mama just farts all over the house which led to the conclusion that Mama farts 98 times a day. Dean who had started this whole thing was busy looking at his hands trying to figure out how to hold up 98 with his fingers.

Steven will be out of school Friday for summer. Its hard to believe the school year is over. Before I know it I'll be sending both of the boys off to school in the mornings. I've got to get the boys signed up for swim lessons and beyond that I'm looking for a fun and relaxing summer. It will probably be another month before we can even think about getting the boat out on the river. The river is extremely high and muddy due to the run off. But soon I'll be kicked back on the boat watching my bobber sipping on a cold drink.

The Wheels Go Round and Round

Today was absolutely beautiful. 75 degrees, sunny, light breeze and I got not one damn thing done out in the yard. I had to finish up some reports for the BossMan first thing this morning and then I got in an organizing frenzy. My desk is an embarrassment. I've still got piles of embezzlement papers, bowling association crap, my tax stuff, and Steven's school papers to sort through. I have this big beautiful desk and I have one square foot that shows. I know quit my whining.

The other bookkeeper gave her two week notice last Monday, so on the 22nd I will be working full time. Actually it won't be bad since BossMan is going to network my pc with the one at the office. I will have to go into the office in the morning to do the deposit and make the bags for the next business day which will take about an hour and a half. After that I'll pick up Dean from daycare and bring him home so I can do the computer entries. Tuesdays I'll work in the office a little longer. I'm really excited about this. I always wanted a stay at home job, but I still like to get out of the house for adult contact. So I'll have it both ways. I hired a gal to do the weekend deposits so I'll still have weekends off.

My Mom and Dad got home from Arizona last week and boy is it great having them home. They look great and of course tan. The boys are beyond excited to have them home. Steven would spend every day there if he could.

T-ball is keeping us running with the games and practices. Steven is doing so good. He still needs to work on paying attention to where the ball is though. Actually all the kids do. I think they spend more time chasing butterflies and catching bugs then anything.

Our renters are moving out on the 15th, so we are in the process of selecting new ones. I had a gal stop by Thurs unannounced to see about renting from us. I know her, but haven't seen her for about 5 years. We have a 3 bedroom, 1 bath trailer and they have 4 kids. Do the math. I told her to fill out an application and told her the utility costs. She and her hubby had an appointment to see the house on Saturday. Well Friday at 7:05 frickin' a.m. she left a message saying that they had the deposit and would take it. I called her that evening to tell her we still had several other people wanting to look at the trailer and would make our decision based on the applications. She then informed me that they already gave notice on their current rental and were packing. To say the least I was pissed. I told her that I had not and probably wouldn't approve her family to move in so she better get a hold of her current landlord and cancel the notice. They live in a 2 bedroom dump right now and before that lived in an RV. Hubster and I got to thinking that since they have such a big family it is probably hard for them to find places to rent so they tried to force their way in. Hubster and I haven't even seen the condition of the rental yet. For all we know there could be holes in the walls or whatever else. We do have one couple interested that sound promising. They are in there 50's and have been life time renters. They rented their first house for 21 years and their current apartment for 7 years. They are suppose to come by tomorrow to look at the place so I hope they like it and want to take it.

So thats life around here.
Later.

Take Me Out To The T-Ball

Steven had his first game on Saturday and I officially became the nervous mother on the sideline. This was opening day for all the teams in the county from t-ball up to the minors or majors, I'm not sure what the older kids are called. Anyways the kids who were around 12 to 13 yrs. old. Give me a few more weeks and I'm sure I'll be an aficionado of baseball. There were 27 out of 29 teams present for the opening ceremony which was awesome. Of course one of the teams who canceled out was the team opposing Steven's team. Thankfully one of the t-ball teams that had played earlier in the day agreed to play another game with Steven's team. Poor Hubster got wrangled into helping the kids at the tee, but he soon got into the swing of it and had a good time.
As you can see it was a beautiful day, not too cool or windy. Thats Hubster in the black jacket & hat and Steven is at bat.
Steven played great for his first game. He made me very proud by hitting well and by not picking his nose out on the field. We all had a fun day and it will be nice having something else to do as a family. We started practice last week and I was worried how Dean would handle not being able to play with his brother. Well as you can see we had our ups and our downs. Next year little man, next year.

Enough with the rain already!

I know we need the rain, but come on already. We actually had some sunshine for about 5 hours today and of course I was stuck in my office, but I did get to go out in the glorious sun when I went to do the deposit. My flowerbeds are so overgrown with weeds that I can't even tell where or what I planted last summer. Rain or shine this weekend I'm going to have to get out there and just weed. I just went and checked the forecast and Thursday is suppose to hit 71 degrees and sunny!! That's more like it.

Today was the last day of Steven's spring break and we pretty much spent it being lazy. I of course planned on sleeping in late for four glorious mornings, but the boys were not so inclined. Every morning I was either awakened to giggles, crying, or fighting. And since I had to get up early for work this morning, they of course did not want to get up from there warm cuddly beds making me run behind. Little shits. Loved little shits though.

Tomorrow is Steven's first t-ball practice and I shall be officially shoved into the wonderful world of sport mom. I am so dreading when Dean gets old enough to play since they are 2 years apart I'll be driving from one end of the county to the other chauffeuring them from one game to the other. I am vowing right now I am not getting a mini van. No way! Steven is so excited for t-ball he had a hard time falling asleep tonight. Since Hubster won't be home from work yet when practice starts I'm taking Dean with me. I just hope he understands that he can't go and play ball along side his brother. I'm taking the camera so I can capture the sure to be precious moments of Steven at bat and hopefully a happy cheering Dean.

Yesterday when Hubster got home from work we all went out mushroom picking. We went to our favorite spots and found a few shrooms here and there, but they need a good dose of sunshine to pop up. When we got home we looked around our property and we hit the jackpot. We filled up the rest of our bag and ended up having a huge batch of battered mushrooms for dinner. Yum!

We had a quiet Easter with just the little family. Since it was RAINING the Easter bunny hid the eggs around the house. Dean got so excited when he found an egg and he actually found the harder to find eggs before Steven. For dinner I decide to go a different route from the usual ham dinner and made a seafood fare. I cooked shrimp and made scallops for the first time. I don't know where I went wrong or even if I did do something wrong but the scallops sucked. Hubster swears I've had scallops before, but I honestly don't remember ever eating them. I do know I don't plan on having them again anytime soon. Hubster, bless his heart tried battering and frying the scallops to see if we could eat them that way, but, uh no they weren't better.

And speaking of seafood...I'm going to go laze in my recliner and watch Deadliest C@tch before hitting the hay. Later.

Time To Start Caring

Since last Spring I have gained 16 pounds and boy do I feel them. This winter my knee started bothering me to the point I had to wear a brace while bowling. My energy level has been at its all time low. So I'd say some changes are due otherwise my future is looking pretty bleak. I have been on countless diets and I know that I can't lose the weight by going on another. The best plan for me is to enjoy food that is good for me like whole grains, vegies, and fruits. Basically stay away from processed foods. I went shopping this morning and spent $247.00 (gulp) on getting this house stocked on good stuff. Hubster and the boys will not be happy when they start snooping through the cupboards come snack time.
About 3 weeks ago Hubster and I invested in a Bow Flex. Hubster has been using it 4 times a week and is developing quite nicely. Oh yeah, quite nicely. Me?? I have used it once. One frigging time. Its gotten to the point I walk right past it and don't even know its there. Sad. I love to lift weights, so I know if I get going I will enjoy it. I just have to get to it. I'm going to talk to Hubster and see if we can lift together. You know what...no, I'm not going to make it Hubster's responsibility to make me use the damn thing, thats not fair to him. I will make the time and energy to do it myself. Eating better will bring my energy levels up and of course getting my ass to bed on time would be beneficial also. I have so many outdoor projects I want to get done this summer and if I don't take care of myself I won't have the beautiful yard I desire. More important I need to do this for my family or I won't be able to play with my boys and enjoy the life we have together.

Hiding out of Desperation

This morning after I got Steven on the bus, I came home and logged on to the internet and hid from the world. Its days like this I'm still glad I have dial up. I love the people I work with, but cripes they call me over the stupidist things. They'll call to ask me if they should charge a motel customer the weekly rate if they are staying for 7 days. Ummm, that would be yes. 7 days is a week the last I looked. Anyways I hid at least from the phone. The sad thing is that I spent my day at the computer working only getting away to make Dean lunch and giving him a 20 minute piggyback ride of which I'm paying for tonight from the ache in my lower back.

Steven lost another tooth tonight. This is his 6th tooth he has lost so he is getting to be a real pro now. When he lost his first few teeth he got hysterical at the sight of the blood. Today he brought the tooth to me and went in the bathroom and got a wet washcloth to hold on the hole until the bleeding stopped. One more sign he doesn't need his mommy as much. Sigh.

Hubster went back to work today after only being off since March 15th. He is usually laid off until the end of April or first of May so we were a little suprised when he got the call this weekend. I'm relieved in the financial aspect, but bummed because we usually use this time to get projects done around outside. I guess we'll just have to plan our weekends for the list of honey-do's I had made.

Last week our local power company called to let us know we will be without power for 5-6 hours on Wed. starting at 9:00 am. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the days I go in to the office to do the books. Basically I will have to get everything I do in those two days done tomorrow. If everything goes well tomorrow I should only have to go in Wednesday to get the bags done for Thursday and deposit monies from Tuesday. And with the thought of the long day ahead of me tomorrow I had better get myself to bed of course after some tooth fairy dust is scattered.

I Am So Ready

Since the beginning of January every possible waking moment I have sat at this computer and worked on investigating the embezzlement case. I want to be done with it now! I have 4 more months of daily till tapes to go through and then I will be able to hand all this over to a forensic accountant. The money has been great and has been our saving grace with Hubster being off work for spring break up, but I want my life back. I feel like a horrible mom since all the boys hear from me is, "Later Mommy is working." "Honey I can't right now, I'm working." "Boys! Quiet! I'm trying to work!". So I guess I won't be winning Mommy of the Year this year.

You remember in November when I was re-decorating the bathroom. Well it has not been touched since I removed most of the wall paper. Yeah, you read that right, I don't even have all the wall paper down. So I set a goal for myself. Mom and Dad will be back the end of April from Arizona and I want it done before they get back. I could care less if it is done for their eyes, I just need a deadline and since I'm not expecting company any time soon I figured them coming home would do the trick. Steven has his Spring Break starting April 14th so that shall be the big vacation project. Steven loves to paint and so he will. I'll be done with the embezzlement stuff by then also, so I should have the time.

I have been feeling so much better since I started taking my sinus meds. I didn't realize how much it was draining my energy. I should probably go to the doctor to make sure it is not a sinus infection, but so far the meds seem to be doing the trick.

I signed up on some web rings last night in hopes of getting some more traffic to my site. When I first started doing this I didn't really care if too many people read. But I now I'm feeling well....insecure. I don't know what I'm really feeling. Do I suck so bad at this that no one wants to stick around and read. According to site meter, I get hits, but no one sticks around to read. I have one person who comments and thats Jules (Thank you!) so that has made me feel better. I'll just keep plugging away and try to get back to my original plan that this is for my boys and me. I feel like I'm back in high school, do they like me? Ugh!

Okay my sunday shows are starting so I'm outta here. Later.

I don't want to grow up.

I am so glad this week is over! The last 3 nights I have had bowling meetings, I worked 21 hours in 2 days and I think I still have a family since the laundry hamper is full once again. Frickin' laundry. On top of all this busy business I was dealing with a headache. I very rarely get headaches and when I do if I take an advil its gone within the hour. But this bugger started Tuesday night during the meeting right on the side of my head with this consistent pressure. When I got home I popped some advil and went to bed. Wake up Wed and its still there. I took some more advil and went to work. Counting money while you have a headache is not fun. One of the bartenders in the lounge offered me some advil liquid gels claiming they would kick my headache's ass. About an hour later the whole top of my head felt like somebody had poured hot grease on it. After I went to the bank to make the deposit, the thought of a stroke or an aneurysm convinced me to stop at the doctor's office to have my blood pressure checked. It was fine 124/70. The nurse laughed at my hypochondria and said I wasn't having a stroke. Okay that helped. Laugh at my concerns wench, you'll be sorry when you read my obituary. So I dragged myself back to work until 5:00 ran home and put a lasagne in the oven to bake which I had so smartly pre-made Monday night, ran back to the bowling alley for our Wed night league meeting and banquet at 6:15. Tried not to kill too many innocent people while dealing with the constant brain drilling, hot grease scalding headache, did the liquor order for the lanes, went home to find Dean still awake and in hyperdrive. Took some more advil and finally got Dean successfully tucked into bed. I then stupidly stayed up until 1:30 afraid if I went to bed my aneurysm would explode during my sleep and I'd be found dead in my bed that I haven't changed the sheets in for 2 weeks. I compensated and put on some clean underwear and crawled into bed. Awoke (yes!) at 6:30 to begin the "get yo ass outta bed its time for school" routine. At 8:00 I sat down at the computer to begin my day of embezzlement investigating with only the brain drilling portion of the headache remaining. After about 2 hours of squinting through the pain I went in to take a hot shower. When I got out I went through my after shower ritual lotion, deodorant, brush teeth, blow nose. When I blew my nose my head felt like it was going to explode where my headache was located. I then noticed I could affect the degree of pain in my head just by sniffing. Sniff in and head explosion, breath out moderate pressure. So I popped some Tylenol sinus. Within an hour my headache was gone. Thank ya Jesus! I've noticed as I get older my sinus' are so much more sensitive to changes in the weather. So I guess nurse-laugh-a-lot was correct.
Speaking of getting older, I think I may be starting the first stages of menopause. The last 3 months my emotions have been on an ever ending rollercoaster ride. WHHEEE! Well I want off....like now. Right now. I used to mock women who would blame their moods on hormones. I have always been able to put a smile on my face when I'm grumpy or sad since I'm one of these people who HATE people who take a bad day out on others. I have become one of those people I hate. I'm surprised I'm not hacking up hairballs from all the heads I've bitten off lately. The only upside to the hormonal swing I've been on is my sex drive. For three weeks of every month I'm insatiable. Poor Hubster can't even scratch his balls without me wanting to jump him. Actually now that I think of it he has been scratching them more, so maybe its not poor Hubster. But he pays for the 3 week stretch of horny honey of a wife with one week of rabid hairball hacking wench he resides with while quivering on the far side of the bed. And it wouldn't be so bad if that week fell while I'm on my period, but no it comes the week before I start. So technically only 2 out of my 3 weeks of the sex in overdrive is spent satisfactory. I just only hope that when my menopause changes gears its finds me in sex overdrive and not in full road rage run your ass over then reverse and run it over again gear. Later. I have to go see what Hubsters up to ;)

Daddy's Day

Dad turned 72 yrs old today. Wow doesn't seem possible. Mom and Dad should be heading home in another 3 to 4 weeks from Arizona. It will be so good having them back here. Seems too long since they left in October. I'm anxious for them to see the boys. Dean is talking so much more clearly and isn't the shy little boy he was when they saw him last. I know they can hear a big difference when they talk to him on the phone, but his expressions and hand gestures are so much of his communicating they can't see. Steven is getting so grown up now. He isn't the little boy who comes crying to Mommy anymore, instead he sucks it up when he is hurt now. That breaks my heart not to be needed as much, so I know it will Granny also. Anyway it will be interesting.
Today was raining and we actually had some snowfall a couple of times so I spent my day getting caught up on bowling stuff. It will be good to get this all done for the season and concentrate on other things. Like my house! Oh my god, I haven't let my housework fall behind this bad for ages. I got so busy in December with training for the bookkeeping and investigating the embezzlement crap, I let my house take last priority. I finally got caught up on the laundry Thursday, well as much as you can ever catch up on laundry. I had probably 14 loads laying there. That is so disgusting! I feel like a new woman finally getting caught up to a reasonable load a day. Isn't that sad that laundry can affect my state of mind?
I joined a website a few years ago called "flylady" that helped you get your household in order. I really liked the concept and think it could work, but I swear I received about 20 chore reminder emails daily. I felt like my mother was nagging me to clean my room every 10 minutes. Eventually I lost interest or maybe it was more that I acted like a sullen teenager and said I'm not going to clean my room flylady and quit. Anyways I should check it out and see if it can help me with all the spring cleaning tasks on my list, because before I know it I'll have yard work calling out to me.
Okay my favorite night of tv (Desperate Housewives & Grey's Anatomy) is about to start so I'm outta here. Later.

Spring

Today I actually got outside and did some stuff around the yard and it felt fantastic! Its definitely too muddy yet to get real serious, but I put out a decorative bird house I got for Christmas and picked a few rocks out of the yard. Last year when the contractor put our septic system in they spread drainage rock all over when they were filling in the trenches. Of course this is an area where we envisioned a lovely lawn. So I spent several weeks last year picking rocks and hauling them to low spots in the driveway. Well it seems that over the winter the rocks have had a love fest and multiplied. It doesn't even look like I picked a single rock. I know once the lawn comes in fully we won't see them, but I keep envisioning rocks flying through my windows as Hubster mows the lawn. Oh well I got one hell of a tan last year so I guess I'll look at it as my way of achieving that golden glow. I need to make a plan for a couple of flower beds and what kind of flowers will work best. I don't know why I try to grow flowers because basically all I end up doing is growing food for the deer, the little bastards. I started a two tiered flower bed last fall that I need to put a rock border around. Over the years whenever Hubster and I go anywhere in the mountains I always collect interesting rocks so I figured a border would be a good way to display them. Well I think I'll dig out the garden books and plan what bulbs to order for the deer's dining pleasure. Later.

Just Say It

I've spent the majority of the day reading a new online journal and got to thinking I should update my own. I have several journals that I faithfully read daily (Hi Jules!) and some I check in on once a week or so. I love to find new journals through links and read through the archives. Kind of like reading a good book on a rainy day.
One thing that struck me lately as I've been reading journals is that I'm putting too much effort into my entries. Heh I'm talking quality, not quantity obviously since I'm averaging 3 entries a month lately. I keep thinking I have to have something exciting or of meaning to say whenever I write. Don't misunderstand me I'm not saying that other peoples journals are boring. I'm saying that I realized that I enjoy reading journals because I get a glimpse of how they live day to day. Granted some have much more exciting lives than I ever will. The journals I read are people whom I can relate to in some facet. So I'm going to take some pressure off of myself and write about me, my life and if somebody out there connects with me that's great.

Happy Birthday to me!

Yeppers I turn 41 yrs old today. I kept being asked this week what big plans I had for my birthday and when I replied "absolutely nothing" I would get sympathetic looks. Since mid December all I have wanted is to have a day I had no obligations. I have a lot I need to get done, but I figured my birthday was the perfect day to just say no to it all.
Okay since I haven't updated for a month..geesh...let me recap.
Steven is doing really good in school. He even says he likes it now so that is quite a turn around and a relief. His personality is changing or maybe its just that he growing up. In some ways the changes are positive, but he is learning things from other kids that are not so good. I was concerned when Steven started school that he would get his feeling hurt because he was such a good hearted trusting kid. I think that was part of why he hated school for awhile, but now its like he has gotten street wise and that is hard for me to take. The majority of his classmates are from disfunctional homes. Steven has had a few episodes of kids punching him or pushing him down which I expected..hell it happened to me when I was in school, but not until I was in 3rd grade. When I talk to the school about these incidences they tell me it has been handled. But when I investigate further the information I get back on these kids is horribly sad. One of the boys' mom is a crank addict, another boy spends the majority of his time at various babysitters because mom is out partying. It all comes down to drugs, alcohol and sex are the focus for some of these parents and their child gets acknowledged when its convenient or absolutely necessary. Rumors out of the school are that suspensions are at an all time high and the teachers are throwing their hands up not knowing how to handle the problems. I'm scared. I can only hope that if I keep reinforcing my expectations on my boys that they will stay on track. To me this is sad that I'm facing this when my child is in kindergarten, hell I expected this stuff around 4th or 5th grade. So I'm signing Steven up for baseball Tuesday night and maybe just maybe I can get him sports orientated young. I used to think it was sad how parents ran their kids from one event to the next, but now I'm beginning to see the positives of keeping them busy.
Whoa went off on a rant there... Hubster is off work for spring break up as of Thursday and probably won't be back to work until mid May. I hate this time of year financially, but we muddle through. At least I don't have to pay for daycare! Plus we have a lot of projects around the house to get finished.
The bowling leagues are finishing up this month so that will be one less thing on my plate. I'm going to try to keep the bowling alley open for the summer. I've got two leagues organized starting in May so that should help. Otherwise open bowling sucks during the summer since everyone would rather play outside which I don't blame them.
I'm still bookkeeping twice a week and loving the challenge. I can't remember if I mentioned that I've been gathering evidence on the previous bookkeeper for embezzlement. I stumbled upon some discrepancies when I first started doing the books and my boss asked me to go over everything from when she started in July 2004. This includes daily sales, accounts receivables and gaming money. I got the gaming done and I'm now working on the rest. I'm finding basically that anyway she could skim she did it. I wasn't friends with the previous gal but it still has been very hard emotionally on me. I don't like that I'm potentially ruining someones reputation and life but I keep reminding myself she chose her actions.
Okay enough rambling I have to continue my plans of....NOTHING!!! Whoohooo! Plus I've got a couple loads of laundry thats bugging me and we need some groceries. Who was I fooling?

Its Been Nice

Well "Molly" is gone. Her owner Rick showed up at our door Monday morning. I've known Rick since we were kids and have never liked him so I was suprised such a sweet dog would belong to him. The only satisfaction I got in watching Molly go was the fact that Rick had to drag her to the truck, she did not want to leave. The boys handled it better than I thought they would. Steven insisted Rick take a rope toy Molly had been playing with. I could tell Steven was trying to be a big boy and not act sad. Dean had mixed emotions. He was sad, but relieved to not have this big dog around slobbering on him. Hubster and I decided its time to get prepared for a dog. We have to figure out if we want to build a kennel or just make a dog run. Griz had us spoiled in that he would stay in the yard without being tied up. So we'll see what happens.

Good Golly

Hubster took "Molly" over to the people's house whom he thought may be her owners this morning. I felt sad but somewhat relieved that she was gone. What I like about her is even though we figure her to be about a year old she has a mellow soul. What I didn't care about her is she chased our cats. Griz was such a softie with our cats which will be hard to find in another dog. But we got Griz as a puppy and I suppose that made a difference. So while Hubster took her back home I started to make blueberry muffins and just as I was putting the pan in the oven it slipped out of my hand and landed upside down on the floor. The floor I spent an hour scrubbing yesterday. So I once again dug out the cleaning supplies and when I turned "Molly" was there licking up the spilled batter. The people didn't own "Molly". So we have her until Wednesday at least when the local paper comes out. She looks like she has been well cared for, she's shiny and her back toe nails have been cut recently. I'll call the vet tomorrow and see if they know the owners. Last night when I put Steven in his bed, she hopped up at the foot of his bed and laid down. I'm afraid by Wednesday she may be permanently etched into our hearts.

Baby Its Freezing Out There

I should have known. Earlier this week I made a comment to Hubster that it felt like Spring. I was even trying to think of anything that I could do around the yard this weekend. Well Thursday night we hit 11 below and it was 9 below this morning. It sure doesn't feel like Spring anymore. We have had beautiful sunny days and starry nights which has made the spring fever bearable.
I got interrupted while writing this entry by an unexpected visitor. The boys were playing ninjas and during there hi-yaws and wwaaaa's I heard Steven say "Dog!". I assumed they were pretending they had a ninja dog when Dean screamed "Moooommmmmmaaaa! Dog!!!" I have to say I was mighty surprised when I turned and here stands a chocolate lab in the livingroom. The boys jumped to the top of the couch terrified. My adrenaline was definitely pumping with a strange dog in my house. I have to laugh because thanks to one of the journals I read I knew I had to act in control and show dominance. (Thanks Bev!) The dog didn't seem aggressive, but just in search of water, food or heat, probably all of the above. She has a collar on so I grabbed her and literally had to drag her to the door and shove her out. She immediately jumped on the door and began scratching and whining. She got in through our kitchen door which hasn't been latching well with the change of weather so I ran to that door to get it latched and locked. I made a few calls to neighbors and no one knew of the dog. I called the Sheriff's Office, but they had no lost dog reports. Hubster was at a friends house so I called him to tell him to get his ass home like now. While I was on the phone with my sil, the door once again popped open (apparently I didn't turn the lock the right way). Since she simply acted relieved to be in where it is warm and not aggressive I let her stay in until Hubster got home. Of course while we waited I couldn't help but give her some water and food, which was not the sight Hubster expected to see when he came barging through the door. Within 5 minutes of Hubster's arrival Dean announced she shall be named Molly. Oh yeah, Hubster loved that. He thought he knew who she belonged to so he loaded "Molly" into the pickup and drove over to there house. Its stupid to think that within a 40 minute time span I was already planning on running into town to get dog food, disinfecting Griz's dog dishes and planning when I could get her to the vet.
I have to tell you when Hubster walked back into the house and "Molly" was still shadowing him I felt happy. The people he thinks she belongs to weren't home, so I guess she is spending the night until we can reach them in the morning. She did get too playful with Dean to the point he screamed and cried. I've told the boys no rough housing or running just in case this would set Molly off. I took her out with me when I took the garbage to the dumpster so she could do her business and I can tell you it was nice having a four legged companion along. When I put Dean down for bed just now I asked him if he was scared of Molly and he said "No Mama, I wike her." So I'm predicting broken hearts come morning when Molly goes home.

Handicap in Bowling

This past Saturday I took my second lesson from Dave the bowling coach. He changed my release so I can get a more aggressive hook and improve my accuracy. He also worked on getting me to bend my knees more during my release. I did okay during the lesson, but Saturday night I was brought to tears with the pain in my right knee. I injured my knee in high school while playing basketball and have had problems with it off and on through the years, but never like this. Turning 40 really didn't bother me, but what is bothering me is my body is starting to show the wear and tear I've put it through. Since I manage the bowling alley and love the sport, I'm always looking for ways to improve my game...hence the lessons. Sunday I woke up feeling depressed. Have I, at 40, peaked in my game. Do I now look forward to my average declining year after year now? I stopped in to talk to Dave before he left and tearfully told him how I was feeling. He felt terrible that he may have pushed my knee far past what it can handle and assured me that I could continue to improve my game even if I can't get down more at the line. After I talked to him I felt a little better, but it still got me to thinking that unless I start taking preventative measures my body will keep failing me one way or another. So I ordered a bow flex. Hubster wasn't too sure he wanted to spend that much money for a weight machine, but I convinced him into it. Of course it could have something to do with the improved sex life I mentioned that changed his mind. Hopefully building up some muscle in my thighs will help support my knee better. Plus it will give Hubster and I something else to do together.
Before I went bowling tonight I dug out my old knee brace and took a bunch of Tylenol. I tried to bend a little more than normal, but mostly concentrated on the new release. My knee is a little achy tonight which I can handle. I ended up bowling a 555 series so I felt pretty good all the way around. My goal is to end the season with the highest women's average for the house. Currently I'm the third highest with a 172. The highest is a 174, so I can do this. Heck maybe I should set my goals higher and shoot for the highest in men and women! Eh...the men's highest is 217, I think 175 sounds just fine.

Okay So I Did Feel Good...

How was your weekend? Great? How did I spend my weekend? I got in touch with someone whom I haven't visited with for quite some time. His name....Ralph the Potty God. Yeah, we had a grand old time. He came by Saturday morning and overstayed his welcome until Sunday evening. To tell the truth I really didn't want him to come over, but he caught me before I could draw the blinds and hide. Hubster was at work Saturday so all day it was Ralph and me trying to keep the boys entertained. The boys had met Ralph earlier in the week and they didn't like him at all so they pretty much stayed away for the most part. Don't blame them. I thought I was going to have to call the cops and have Ralph physically removed, but he finally hit the road Sunday night. So people beware...Ralph is out there...somewhere and he may be at your door next.

I Feel Good, I Feel Good.....

I keep repeating "I feel good, I feel good" to myself because I don't have time to be sick. Last night at 12:30 am Steven, whom was sleeping with Hubster and I sat up and said Dad I don't feel good. Hubster grabbed him but Steven did puke some on my pillow and on the rug before Hubster got him in the bathroom. So I put Steven in the tub to clean him up and I then proceeded to clean the mess. I got Steven in some fresh pjs and put him in his own bed. Hubster changed our bedding and I crawled back to bed and laid there listening for Steven. Soon I slipped off to sleep and was just hitting the deep zzz's when this little voice at my bedside said Mama and rrrrrrrrrrralllllllph. Thinking it was Steven I was suprised when I turned on the light to find Dean standing there with vomit down the front of him and on my bedspread. Great. So from 1:30 to 5:00 I bounced from Steven to Dean and to trying to salvage my carpets. When Steven woke up this morning he was all gungho to go to school, but within 20 minutes he was once again visiting the toilet. So today was a lay around the house day for the boys and load after load of laundry for me. Both Hubster and I have had ishy tummies all day but I think its all in our heads, well I hope. One good thing is I didn't have to cook dinner because nobody was hungry. Before I had kids I had the weakest stomach and the sound of someone throwing up would make me join right in with them. I remember when I saw the movie Witches of Eastwick and they have the scene where the witches put a spell on a woman making her throw up cherry pits I had to run out of the theater and go outside and get some fresh air. For the longest time whenever I saw Cher my stomach would get ishy and I would feel sick. I definitely wasn't the friend you would want to party with and rely upon to hold your hair back while you worshipped the porcelain gods. Hell I'd push you out of the way of the toilet.
Work has been very draining. I worked 21 hours Tues and Wed. I'm enjoying the job though, but I don't like how it is invading into my home life. Hopefully things will balance out soon. I'm bummed I've let this journal go by the wayside. I felt like I was finally getting some readers. I decided I'm going to have to schedule myself to sit and write entries. So bear with me and drop a comment once in awhile to let me know you stopped by.

Why?

Danelle was a single 22 yr old mother of a 4 yr old boy. Danelle, her boyfriend Dan and his cousin Chris were out snowmobiling Saturday the 14th enjoying the wintry outdoors when tragedy hit. One of Montana's biggest avalanche took Danelle and Chris away from their families and friends. Dan was rescued by nearby snowmobilers who came to investigate the tremendous noise. He was buried under 6 feet of snow. Chris was found that afternoon buried 15 feet under blocks of ice from the lake at the base of the slide. Danelle was found Sunday 20 feet from where Dan was found under 15 feet of powdery snow. 20 feet from where her body was recovered the avalanche ended. 20 feet from life. 20 feet that took a little 4 yr old boys mom away from him. 20 feet.