Bad News

I received a phone call this morning that Hubster's Dad has passed away. He died very quickly basically in his sleep. I wasn't sure what to do after I got the call though. Hubster is a logger and hence works in the woods. He does have a cell phone in his work truck which he will be in when they break for lunch. I called the company office and left a message for him to call me. I really debated on what to do for a couple of reasons. First is that knowing Hubster he will remain at work and I worry about him operating his machine when his mind is completely focused on the job. Secondly Hubster's relationship with his Dad hasn't been the best. When Hubster was six his mother passed away from a brain tumor. His brother was 12 at the time and his sister was around 13 or so. Hubster's Dad was working away from home at the time of her passing and continued to do so leaving Hubster's sister pretty much in charge of running the household. Now I can certainly understand that he needed to keep working to support the family that I don't have a problem with. What the problem was is that shortly after her death he started to romance a bartender from his favorite watering hole. Hubster's Dad developed quite the drinking problem and his new love was an alcoholic. With his new love, going home wasn't a priority and he basically left the kids to raise themselves. Hubster talks about how they had popcorn for breakfast. They would put sugar and milk on it just like cereal. The other main staple was rice and macaroni which were bought in bulk. Looking through Hubster's baby book breaks my heart. His mom detailed every event in his baby book to the most minute events. After she died his sister took over writing in her girlish handwriting trying to be just like Mom. Hubster's sister became pregnant around 15 and ran off with her boyfriend. With sister not there to care for Hubster, his Dad moved his new love in along with her 1 yr old son. Within a year the new love was pregnant and the resulting baby became the total focus. Throughout this Hubster was never properly told why his mom had died. The only thing he knew was that the last time he saw her was from his time out chair. He had been a bad boy resulting in him being put in a time out. His mom did not know she had a brain tumor and was suffering from a tremendous headache. She called one of her sister-in-laws to come take her to the doctor. She was taken to the hospital while Hubster stayed home with another Aunt. She died a week later. All Hubster knew was that she had a bad headache and she died. He thought he gave his mom the headache from being a bad boy. Once Hubster reached the age of 9 or so his dad and new love developed a passion for camping. Every weekend they would leave Hubster and his brother home with his 2 little step brothers. His older brother would never come home for the weekend instead partied with his friends leaving Hubster alone with these toddlers. Hubster claims he is the one that potty trained his youngest step brother. Anyway the gist of all this rambling is Hubster's Dad chose to not be a Dad when his kids needed him the most. Hubster's sister has not spoken to their Dad since the day she left at 15 yrs old. She has told all of us that the only time we are to speak of their Dad is to call and let her know when he's dead. I guess that time has come.