Happy Halloween!

First of several holidays to come! It always seems that from Halloween to New Years just flies by for me. I love the holidays. Even more so now that we have the boys to see it through their eyes. I really got into the pumpkin carving this year as you can see from the picture. The one on the far right was done by Hubster. The rest I found patterns for on the internet. We have to keep them on the deck up on our table so the darling deer will stay away from them. A couple of years ago I decorated our gate at the end of the driveway with hay bales, a scarecrow and many pumpkins. It looked so good....for one day. During the night the damn deer came along for a pumpkin party of their own and ate all but two of the pumpkins. The last 2 they got the next night. I caught a couple of does sneaking up to the pumpkins last night so I felt lucky when I got up this morning and the pumpkins were still in one piece. Tomorrow I'll take the pumpkins out behind the house and they can have at them.

Before Mom & Dad went down south the boys trick or treated them so they could see their costumes. It was Stevens idea to be batman so I naturally felt Dean should be Robin. Steven has basically been living in his costume since I got it for him. I finally got it off him last night so I could wash it for tonight. Dean isn't too fond of his mask so I think I'll be lucky if it stays on for more than one house. I just hope the rain will stop long enough tonight as to not ruin the fun. Snow or cold I can handle Halloween night, rain and trick or treating doesn't make for a fun night. Happy Halloween all! And just think in 3 weeks we'll be discussing Thanksgiving dinner!

Cozy Day

Today is one of those days that I just want to be in my house and hide away from the world. I don't want the phone to ring. I don't want friends dropping by to just say Hi. These are the days I just want to putter. I have lit every candle in the house. The dryer is gently humming as it dries a load of laundry. The rug is freshly vacuumed and all the furniture is dusted. The beds are made and pillows fluffed. I have a roast ready to put in the oven. The dining room floor is next on my to do list along with several more loads of laundry.
Dean has been my little helper today. He picked up the toys in his and brubber's room so I could vacuum. As I was vacuuming he was keeping me safe by fighting off monsters that were invading the room. While I was doing laundry, Dean cleaned the sliding glass doors for me. He did an excellent job except for the fact he used my resolve carpet cleaner instead of window cleaner. So in between loads of laundry he and I will re-do the windows.

In a few more hours I'll venture out to go get Steven from the bus and shortly after that Hubster will be home from work. My cozy atmosphere will be transformed to activity and noise. The freshly vacuumed rug will have fir needles and little cars strewn once more. Dirty work clothes and school clothes will be thrown into the hamper filling it again.
Dinner will be eaten and dirty dishes will fill my sink. Homework will be done at the kitchen table. Baths will be given and teeth will be brushed. Bedtime will come along with pouts and pleas of one more cartoon. Hubster and I will talk of our day before he must turn in for the night. I'll put another load of laundry in and quietly put clean clothes away. I'll relight some of my candles and settle in front of the pc to catch up on some of the journals I read. With my last surge of energy for the day I'll straighten up the livingroom with just the light from the candles and firelight. I love this time of night. I've always been a night owl since I can remember. I think its because I know that no one will be calling or needing something of me. Its my time. My time to do as I wish. But eventually I'll blow out the candles and quietly check on the boys one more time. I'll crawl into bed beside Hubster and my perfect day will end.

Go Hibernate Yourself!

I am sooo ready for the bears to go into hibernation. It was quite obvious this year that their food supply in the mountains was sparse or either that we've got a bunch of bears that prefer dumpster dining. Tuesday morning Hubster fed our dog Griz on the front porch and 5 minutes later he looked out and a bear was eating out of Griz's dish. I think Griz has formed an alliance with the damn bear, while the bear distracts us Griz will go around to the other porch and eat the cat's food. Anyway it wasn't the way I like to start my day with Smokey the bear dining on my deck.
I read in the paper that a sheriff's deputy hit a cub on the highway across the river from our house. Since I haven't seen signs of mama bear and cub lately I figure that it was the cub that ate my marigolds a couple of weeks ago. Oh well another month and they should all be cozied up in their dens.

Tooth Be Told

I am the proud mother of a kindergartener with a missing tooth. He looks so adorable! He has already lost 2 of his bottom teeth this last spring. This kid isn't waiting around about letting his permanent teeth come in. Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't 5 yrs old young to be losing teeth? He just turned 6, but I seem to remember my nephews being closer to 7 when they lost their teeth. I'm a little worried about how he lost this tooth though. Saturday when we were at Mom's for dinner Steven jumped onto the couch and rammed into Hubster's elbow. He split his upper lip and I checked for loose teeth but didn't feel any. He has had a loose tooth on the bottom and that one didn't seem any looser either. Last night about 11:30 he comes bounding into the livingroom and before I could scold him for still being awake he shows me his tooth in his hand. I asked him when did that happen and he said "When I bumped my face on my dresser." I still haven't gotten the whole story about how he happened to bump his face on the dresser as we had to prepare the tooth for the tooth fairy to come for the big trade off. When Hubster went in this morning to kiss him goodbye he said Steven was using his pillow like a blanket. I don't know if he thought he could catch the tooth fairy in action this way or what. When I woke Steven up for school he had his dollar clutched tightly in his hand and I literally had to pry it out of his hand so he could go to the bathroom. We went to a football game after school today and he was sitting on Papa's lap telling him that he saw the tooth fairy come in his room. My heart skipped a beat waiting for him to reveal the true identity of the tooth fairy. Later I asked him what she looked like and he said she was beautiful, sparkly and had wings. Phew! I know at 2:00 in the morning I certainly don't sparkle.
I'm hoping the tooth was really ready to come out and not from the elbow incident. I suppose I'll watch the other tooth for awhile and see from there. Steven thinks it is pretty cool having a hole to hiss through. I on the other hand have had about enough of the hissing demonstrations as I usually get a shower of spit along with the hiss. Who knows though maybe all those droplets give me a dewy sparkle.

The Snow Birds Are Flying South

Tonight we went to a family dinner at my Dad and Mom's house. We all get together this time of year to have one last get together before my parents head south for the winter. Every year gets a little easier for me knowing I won't get to see Dad and Mom for 6 months but its still hard. I can't even imagine if we always lived far apart. I know they enjoy their time down there and that is what matters. Its hard for Mom because she misses her grandkids and seeing them grow and change. So it is time to burn the phone lines once again. Dean will be able to communicate over the phone better. Last year he would hold the phone out to show Granny toys and TV shows thinking she can see through the phone. Granny goes along with it and eventually figures out what he was talking about. With Steven being in school he'll have lots of stories to share with Granny and Papa. With a little help from me he'll be able to write letters to them. Dean will send his pretty paintings along with the letters from brother. I'll send pictures or else I'll hear about it.
I always have to laugh at Mom when we get talking about the weather. She will comment that it is chilly down there "It only got to 58 degrees today. I had to wear a sweater." Meanwhile I look at my thermometer reading 29 degrees. Trade you! Heehee. But they get days of flash floods and wind so I can deal with the envy. Plus I love that come spring when the tree buds are forming and flowers are peaking through the dirt I get to look forward to my parents arrival home with the new season. They get to see how much the boys have grown which makes me more aware of the changes I otherwise may not have noticed. And this time apart makes us not take each other for granted.
So come Friday I'll hug Mom and Dad goodbye and wish them a safe trip. The snow will come and holidays will pass with lots of time spent on the phone. So when the daffodils show themselves so will two tanned faces.

Did I Act Like That?

I just got back from bowling and I witnessed something that got me to wondering. This is an all ladies league and most of us are married ranging from 23 to 65 yrs old. About half way through the night 4 guys walk through the door and have a seat at the bar. Immediately I noticed about half of the teams suddenly had something to laugh about, loud & uproaring. I assumed they were being catty and had made some kind of remark about these guys to make them laugh. But it continued and got louder. As I looked around I noticed some of the woman whom had been sitting normally in their chairs seemed to be now posing as if on a model shoot and they were talking in a more animated fashion. Normally you hear teams cheering each other on, "Good Job!" or "You can get it!" instead I was hearing "Whooo Baby!", "Shake it girl!". I also noted women who usually have a pretty standard bowling position when starting out all of a sudden were sticking their butts out more. So I got to analysing my self. Was I standing different? Was I sitting different? Does the presence of men change how I act? The only thing I felt differently about was my bowling performance. I wanted to show them what a good bowler I was. It didn't work. Before they arrived I bowled a 221. They showed up at the beginning of the second game and I ended up bowling a 130. So before the 3rd game I went in the bathroom and had a conversation with myself. Basically I looked in the mirror and told myself get your shit together girl and focus on the game! I ended up with a 165 my last game. So I proved to myself that even though I wasn't talking louder and laughing more or shaking my goods on the approach, I was indeed acting different. Afterwards I was the last person there besides the bartender and pin chaser and these guys. Sometime during the night these fellows were told I was the boss and they started up a conversation. I asked them how it felt to walk into a bar and see so many women. The one guy said, "I thought I died and went to heaven! When we walked in you all went silent and I felt like a piece of meat walking in. It was great!". They all seemed pretty cocky and I suppose it was a great ego boost for them, but I had to resist the urge to point out to them all the women went on home and they were all alone. Anyway I guess its just human nature to start preening when the opposite sex is in the vicinity. I learned even though at 40, married and a mother I'm not above fluffing my feathers either. Gack! I'm still a girl!

I'm Desperate and A Housewife

Sunday night TV is helping me get over that empty feeling I had after Rock Star ended. I'm definitely getting drawn in by Housewives. I'm envious of them though. As I'm watching their tales of woe and desires I can't but help looking at whats surrounding them. I'm not envious of their homes and possesions. I'm envious of the cleanliness and order. I know its a set and they have people assigned for how the pillows are plumped and the plants are probably spray painted green, I know. But when I day dream of my day to day life my visions have me surrounded by nary a dirty dish in sight, sparkling toilets, laundry folded & put away and toys in the toy box. When I smack myself in the forehead I awake to a laundry pile 2 feet tall, a carpet scattered with cars & tufts of dog hair, and dishes in the sink creating biological experiments. I was doing fine this summer when I wasn't working but now the work grind has begun once again and I need to fire my ass as housekeeper. I thought I could get caught up this weekend and I did get a start on the vacuuming, then life stepped in. Hubster was putting the tar paper on the roof of our new porch and needed me occasionally to hand up tools or hold the ladder. The boys were boys and needed fed and drinks gotten and boo-boos kissed. The machines at the bowling alley decided they needed my soothing touch both Sat and Sun. The next thing I know its Sunday night bath time and beeeeeeeeeep...weekends over. So here I sit and everyone is in bed. I could do the dishes and throw in some laundry, but its 9:00 and its time for Sunday night TV! It will all be there when I wake up tomorrow and the next day and the day after. Damn.

Birthday Bash!

Steven had his birthday party today at where else...the bowling alley. This was his first party inviting friends and I was a little nervous nobody would show up. Ten kids from his class showed plus some of the parents so I was very relieved. Everyone seemed to have a great time. Some of us parents bowled which made it a little easier to get to know each other instead of sitting around trying to think up conversation. Steven really has an awesome group of kids in his class. I kept looking at the boys and girls interacting and couldn't help but to wonder what this scene will look like in 10 years. The boys will be past the awkward puberty stage with deeper voices. The girls will be acting all giggly trying to impress the boys. The scary part is that 10 years will pass before I know it.
I went a little overboard on the size of the cake. Steven sent out 18 invitations to his classmates and parents were also invited. The bakery had a smaller cake that would cut into twenty 2" squares so I went with the bigger cake that would feed forty 2" squares. I sent cake home with most of the families so it worked out in the end, but still a lot of cake. Oh well I guess its better to have too much than not have enough for all.

Dean usually loves to bowl but he felt it was more important to guard the cake. I caught him a couple of times lifting the lid and swiping his finger in the frosting. He had a very hard time waiting for the kids to finish bowling. He wanted cake now! Hubster kept him as busy as he could playing video games but Dean didn't leave his post as cake guard for very long. When the cake was served Dean didn't eat very much of his making me wonder how many times he snuck a lick when I wasn't watching.
All in all it was a very fun and successful day. Now I've got to convince Steven that his birthday has come and gone. He asked me tonight when we got home if we could go to the beach for his birthday tomorrow. He was a little bummed when I explained the celebrating was over until next year.
He got some really cool toys so hopefully they'll keep him entertained for the day. I don't know what in the hell these manufacturers are thinking with their packaging though. If you haven't had to get a toy out of a package lately you're lucky. I know they have to protect from shoplifting, but this is ridiculous. One toy Steven got involved using a screw driver for a plastic screw. Another one had 7 twist ties for each truck, there were 4 trucks in the box. Do the math. After struggling with 4 ties I finally wised up and got the wire cutters. What is this world coming to when you have to get tools to open up a $6.00 toy. It wouldn't be so bad except usually you have a very impatient child standing at your side asking "Is it out yet? Mom I want my truck! Mom don't you have it out yet?" about 50 times in a row. Kinda takes the joy out of opening presents. Reminds me I better set the tool box by the couch for Christmas morning, we may need the hack saw.

Happy Birthday Steven

Why do the years have to pass so quickly? It doesn't seem that long ago that you were just a dream. A year after your Daddy and I got married we decided to have a baby. Well fate dealt us a bad hand, having a baby wasn't going to be as easy as we thought. For 11 years we suffered through 5 miscarriages and years of infertility treatments. December 1998 was the most crushing loss, I lost a 10 week old fetus on Dec 26th. A happy new year it was not. That January I once again went back to my fertility specialist and it was decided that I needed to under go an exploratory surgery to see why I couldn't sustain my pregnancies. My pre-op appointment was set up for Feb 8th and surgery on the 9th. Until the surgery I would go off my fertility pills and hubster & I were to use some sort of birth control. Hubster and I decided on our own that the remaining month of January would be our "lets make love whenever and however we want to" month. Boy howdy did we ever! No temperature taking, no thought to when I was ovulating just lets get it on. So Feb 8th rolls around. The nurse has me pee in the cup and go to a room so I could watch a half hour video of the surgery I would be under going. After that she would draw blood, take my blood pressure, and other pre-op tests. About half way through the video the nurse pops her head in the door and says they have a change of plans and when the video was over I'd be examined by my doctor. So I finish watching the video and follow the nurse to the exam room. She tells me to disrobe from the waist down and the doc will be with me shortly. So I lay there counting the ceiling tiles waiting for the doc. Doc walks in not saying hello just snapping on her gloves and inserts the speculum. At this point I could feel a tension in the air and I began to wonder what was wrong. After a brief exam Doc stands up leans on my knees and says, "We didn't use birth control did we?" um, no. I was pregnant once again. Now you would think that I would be overjoyed but all I could think of was that I had delayed my surgery. The surgery that could be the solution to my pregnancy woes. I bawled and apologized to my doctor while she consoled me and said this may be the one that goes to term. She put me on strict bed rest. I was to only get out of bed to use the bathroom and shower. So from Feb. 8th until August 23rd I laid in my bed while my hubster and family took care of everything else. My focus was making a baby.
When I was probably about 4 months along I was feeling guilty about not doing any housework. So I started a load of laundry, went back to bed and an hour later felt this gush of warm fluid. I pulled back the sheets to see red, all I could see was blood. I frantically called my doc and since I lived 100 miles away and the bleeding had slowed she wanted me to stay in bed and come in the next day. My sil came up and changed my bed with me still in it and held my hand while I prayed. The next day I arrived at the doctors office and burst into tears the minute I saw my nurse. She got me settled in the ultrasound room and on the table. I remember laying there with tears silently flowing down my temples and pooling in my ears and soaking into my hair. Doc came in grabbed my hand and never letting go she put the gel on my tummy and ran the wand over my uterus searching for a sign. As the seconds ticked by it felt like years and there was no sign of a heartbeat. My body began to shake from the silent sobs coming from within. She squeezed my hand harder and the nurse began to stroke my forehead. I knew at that moment I had lost my baby. I had lost my baby over a load of laundry.
As I lay there I could feel the blood rushing through my veins in anger at myself and at God. It was rushing so loud I could hear it. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh...and then I realized what I was really hearing was not my heart pumping blood, but that of my baby. The cries of joy that erupted from that 4X6 room was probably heard two floors down. My baby had a strong viable heartbeat. For the next two months I only moved from that bed when I bathed, went to the bathroom and went to my doctor appointments. On Aug. 23rd, I was released from strict bed rest to modified bedrest since I was far enough along for the baby to survive if born. Hubster set up my computer next to the couch and for the remainder of my pregnancy I lived on the Babycenter boards.
On October 6th at 11:05 pm and 39 weeks along I brought into this would our miracle, our son.
Today our Steven is 6 years old and he has brought so much to our lives that we may have never known if not for him. I've watched him grow and develop. I've watched him be the best brother to Dean. He's made me laugh, cry and get angry. He has made me Mom. So today we will celebrate his birthday. He'll wish for something he so desperately desires as he blows out his candles and I'll know some wishes do come true, mine did. I love you Steven.

I Miss Paige

I've watched Trading Spaces from the very beginning. Alot of my decorating ideas have stemmed from what I've seen. I was trying to remember the first gal that hosted the show...Alex? I was bummed when she was replaced by Paige. Alex(?) had grit and a sauciness about her that just seemed right for the show. When Paige first started she was...well..too perky. I figured she would be replaced quickly. But as the show progressed I began to like Paige. Since she has left I've caught the show a few times, but it just isn't hitting home with me. I suppose like the other changes the show has gone through I will get used to it.
One reason the show may be losing its appeal is that I've pretty much decorated every room in our old house and this one. I still haven't finished deflowering the guest bathroom. The wallpaper is all removed except behind the washer and dryer. Not a task I'm looking forward to at all. For one thing I can't seem to get caught up on the laundry. Hell when do you ever get caught up huh? I suppose if I scheduled a weekend to be a nudist and shower free weekend I could get caught up. The boys would love it as they pretty much end up in some form of nakedness at the end of the day anyway. That might be a good way of getting people to stop dropping by without calling first though. Oh well, I suppose I should just scoot the hamper out in the hall and muscle the washer and dryer out and get 'r done. Removing the wallpaper has revealed alot of nail holes in need of patching. There is one section of the wall that I can't quite figured out what the heck was going on. Either someone measured a towel bar wrong 4 times or they kept installing longer bars. It'll take me at least one day to get all the holes patched and sanded. One thing I have learned with all my painting adventures is that you don't slack in the prep work. Several times in the past, I've either gotten tired or anxious to be done with a painting project and skipped the prep work thinking no one will notice a few holes or a crack in the wall. Well maybe no one else notices, but I do. Those are the spots I stare at when I'm laying in bed, taking a bath, or sitting at the table eating. They literally scream "Hey you! Lady, yes you. See this here? Yeah the tear in the drywall you promised wouldn't show once you layered 5 coats of paint on me. Didn't work lady!" So I swear on my do it yourself book I will spackle and sand to a smooth finish so help me Bob Villa.

All Bowled Out

Since Friday night I have spent 22 hours out of 42 hours either bowling or involved in some form of bowling. I had a U.S. bowling coach teach two 9 hour clinics over the weekend. Usually Dave has assistants who help, but this was homecoming for the U of M and his usual help were all going to the game. So I got to play assistant bowling coach. Do I want to talk anymore about bowling? NOT.
I am going to bitch though. What is it with kids today? Eww! That made me feel old to say that! Anyways, where are there manners? I don't know if its because I'm a mother, but I have noticed how rude kids are now. They interrupt, they're demanding and if one more punk ass kid rolls their eyes at me I will poke those eyes out with my pre arthritic finger. What gets me the most is these kids do this in front of their parents and these so called parents do nothing. I don't know if its that parents nowadays are so terrified of disciplining or they're tired or what! I've had to get in my boys face in public and control their behavior. If you don't want to watch me scold my child, look the other way bubba. It only took one time with Steven when he was running around the store like a wild animal. I grabbed him by the hand & took him to the cart grabbed the box of cereal he had been begging me to get and we both took that cereal back to the shelf with the understanding it was going back because of his behavior and for not listening. He wailed and sobbed and people stared, so what, he hasn't done it since. I believe that is what parenting is. Its guidance. My kids aren't perfect. They meltdown at times, so do I for that matter. But waiting until you leave the store or wherever you are to smack down the law is just going to teach the child that as long as they are surrounded by other people, hey I can get away with this behavior here.