No Answers.

Earlier this evening as I was highlighting a friend's hair I got a phone call that totally tripped me up. The caller was my nephew Larry. I haven't seen Larry for almost 3 yrs now since we had a little impromptu family reunion. Larry is my sister's youngest boy. I can't remember if I've ever mentioned my sister here so if I have pretend this is all new. My sister is 7 yrs older than me and I idolized her growing up. She has beautiful big blue eyes and long blonde hair which always has made me feel like the plain hazel eyed little girl in comparison. When I was 9 and Lynn was 16 Dad got promoted which prompted a move from our little town. I left the security of my friends and Lynn said goodbye to her first love. About 4 months after the move our family's life was changed with a secret my sister had been carrying. That secret she was carrying was revealed in that she was pregnant. My Dad had a pretty high profile job in law enforcement something that he had sacrificed his family for to become the best. This unexpected development was not something that made my Dad happy. Lynn was past the point that abortion was an option so she moved back to our little town and became a wife and soon to be mother. Pretty tough change for a 16 yr old girl. Dad and Lynn's relationship was pretty much destroyed and soon we were lucky if we heard from Lynn once a year. Lynn went on to have 3 kids over the next 6 years. Lynn's life as a wife was not a bed of roses, but one of mental and at times physical abuse. After I graduated high school and was attending beauty school Lynn ran from her abusive life and left her children with her husband to move in with me. For 3 yrs we lived together and got to know each other as adults instead of just siblings. During this time Lynn lived the life she didn't have the chance to being a young mother and being shrouded by her jealous, abusive husband. She wasn't making enough money to take care of her kids so they remained with their Dad. Eventually Lynn remarried a carefree, full of life guy she met at work. When her daughter reached the age of 12 she chose to live with Lynn. The boys lived shortly with Lynn later on but returned to live with their Dad. Lynn got a job doing security with a department store and climbed the ladder in the company to now where she is the district manager. Which is pretty damn good for a high school drop out. The only problem in this whole scenario is she hasn't seen either of her boys 13 yrs. She didn't see them graduate, she hasn't seen the women they chose to marry and she hasn't held their children. My parents haven't talked to her in almost 6 yrs. now. About 2 yrs ago, I tracked Lynn down and found that she had been seriously ill. She was close to death at one point and was struggling to find a cure for a condition the doctor's couldn't figure out. We talked and emailed off and on for about 4 months. During this time I updated her on her kid's lives. She claimed to want to make contact with them saying her illness had shown her that family is what really counts, not how good you are at your job. Eventually our contact lessened and before I knew it 5 months had gone by without a word from Lynn. After Dad had his stroke I tried contacting Lynn with the number and email I had used before. I have not heard a word from her. I truly don't know if she is alive or what. Now tonight I've got my 27 year old nephew searching for answers to why his Mom abandon him. As a mother myself I can't for the world give him an answer. I look at my boys and I cannot imagine a single thing they could ever do that would cause me to turn my back on them. My heart breaks for this young man who has a wife and child he so wants to share with his Mom. He is a man who will always wonder what did he do so wrong as to not have his Mom want to be in his life. I have no answers, no comfort to give and at this point all I can do is give him my love, but I don't think this will help.