Last Ride

I was driving in a light rain Saturday morning and as each approaching car came close I would study the driver's face and wonder what brought them out on to the highway. Where were these people going? What purpose had them out and about? Were they sad or were they happy? This thought has crossed my mind on several occasions. I then wondered if fellow drivers could tell I was crying. I was taking Griz on his last ride in the truck heading to the vets office to put him to sleep. I volunteered for the job for the reason being Griz was Hubster's dog and I didn't want him to watch his dog die. We've never had to have an animal put to sleep so I wasn't quite sure what it would be like. Although it was very sad watching my friend and my protector die, he died peacefully. Griz remained a character by loudly snoring to his last breath. I always hoped that Griz would die in his sleep relieving Hubster and I from making the decision of when his time would come. In a way, he did just that and died in his sleep.
Explaining to the boys what was happening to Griz was the most difficult discussion I've had to date with them. I thought with Steven being 6 yrs old I could get him to understand more so than Dean being 3 yrs old. Steven assumed that when I told him Griz would be put to sleep that we could wake him up and he would come back from heaven anytime we would call for him. I misjudged Dean's understanding. We buried Griz here on our property and when Dean saw the freshly turned earth he simply wanted us to dig Griz back up so he wouldn't die. Broke my heart for them.
Its been 2 days now and I still think I hear Griz bark to get in now and then. This afternoon when I saw it was raining I went to get my shoes on so I could go and get Griz out of the rain as I always have and then I remembered he isn't here to take care of anymore.
Grizzy, I want to thank you for all the joy you brought into our lives for the past 15 years 10 months and 3 days. You were our "first born son" and my baby when I couldn't have any of my own.
Thank you for being my boys' protector and making them feel safe when playing outside.
Thank you for your patience when the boys were babies and crawled on you.
Thank you for keeping the kitties warm and protected,

They miss you so much.
Thank you for chasing off that bear when we were camping in the tent with an 8 month old Steven.
Thank you for resting your chin on my leg when I was sad and cheering me up with those brown eyes full of expression.
Thank you for not chasing cars or deer.
Thank you for just being the incredible dog you were.

We miss you.