Old Doggie

Valentines Day 1990 Hubster walked into my hair salon with this tiny bundle of fur and presented me with my new baby. We named him Griz since he sounded like a little bear when he played. About 2 weeks later Hubster broke his leg and while he was laid up Griz became his baby. I still was the one who took him out in the frigid air at 3:00 am, fed him and groomed him, but Hubster was the one who stole Griz's heart. Griz is now 15 1/2 years old.
I remember on several occasions, Hubster and I have discussed that we would never let a dog suffer due to old age. We have often judged other dog owners of how unfair it is to keep a dog alive when they can no longer get around and how selfish it is for them to do so. Well for the past 2 years Griz has been failing. It started with him having trouble getting up the porch steps and for about a year now he has been deaf. This Spring Hubster built a ramp up into the house so Griz wouldn't have to climb steps. I often use the porch light to get Griz's attention when its time to come in at night. We keep finding ways to get around Griz's disabilities. But we are finding it hard to know when to say when. He seems to be doing okay. He has a geriatric checkup yearly and always gets good results.
The thing is we are now the recipients of judgment from friends and family who think its time we put Griz down. Amazing how things come around huh? I hope that when Griz does go that it is painless and quick. I will not let him suffer if his organs start shutting down or he gets cancer. But I still feel he is still just my little old man and how can you put someone down just for being old, deaf and slow.
He is a tough old coot though. A couple of months ago, I was leaving to pickup Steven from Pre-school. I always look behind the car for Griz and did so then. I began to backup and was thinking the tires I had put on the day before sure made the car feel sluggish and then I heard a hoarse bark. I immediately stopped and thinking I had just ran into Griz I was going to go forwards, but my head said no...check where he is before you move. Thank goodness I didn't move for his head was right in front of the back tire. Griz was trying to crawl out from underneath the car. I figured I'd have to jack the car up to get him out, just as I was moving to stop the motor Griz got out on his own. As he walked away he would go a few feet and then his butt would drop to the ground. I thought for sure I had either broke his back or hips. I have never felt as helpless at that moment in my life. Thankfully my sil was within yelling distance and she helped me get him in the truck. While she drove the truck with Griz, I took my car since I had Dean in there in his car seat. All the way to the vet Dean kept asking me if Griz had a booboo. I felt awful. When we arrived at the vets, Griz was still standing in the back of the truck and seemed somewhat alright until I noticed blood dripping from under his tail. I lost it. I just knew he had internal injuries. The vet came to the truck to examine him and she carefully felt his hips, belly and then lifted his tail. I had to look away, because I was sure I would see intestines or something. Beth, our vet, said "Jo he's going to be fine. You just gave him one hell of a road rash on his butt.". To my relief, his xrays showed no breaks or internal bleeding. So we figured he must have tried to get up when I started backing up and his poor little butt was dragged for six feet in gravel. I still don't know how I didn't see him behind the car when I looked, but figure he must have been under the back of the car. He sure doesn't lay under cars now. He's old, but not dumb.
I guess at this point we will continue to love and care for him. When his time comes I hope he knows that as our first child he was very loved.