Purple Fingers

Its that time again! The huckleberries are in season!


The hubster and I took the boys for their first huckleberry harvest. I've never been the bravest girl when it comes to traipsing around in the wilderness. The Hubster works in the woods, so he is totally at ease scaling up steep embankments and the sounds of the forest don't make the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. I on the other hand am afraid of heights and being a bear snack. Every year I hope we'll find a nice patch along the road. But no....the great woodsman drives by these gentle, sunny slopes and pulls off the road by the steepest, gnarliest, brushy cliffs. Now you may wonder why I don't insist we stop at the gentle slopes...well because everybody and their dog have already & have stripped the bushes bare. So I tighten the laces on my hiking boots, spray from head to toe with bug repellent, do the same for the boys and take a deep breath. I always dread the climb, but you hope the trees and rocks you're death gripping will hold so you can haul your fat ass up the hill to those juicy berries awaiting. Its pretty embarrassing when your 3 year old holds his hand out to help. But once you reach the summit, glad you didn't shit yourself, you proudly stand, turn to the mountain you just conquered and realize it was only 5 feet you scaled. Fuh! Okay so now onto the elusive purple berry. It is your goal to find a patch of berries where as you can sit your ass down in the middle and pick a bucket full. So I find my spot, settle in for some picking, take a breath of fresh mountain air, and listen to the squirrels chatter, birds sing. Ahh! Joy! And then you catch a strange odor....what is that...sniff...bear? Then the ears go on hyper drive...twig snap...oh shit...bushes rustling....you can hear your heartbeat....snort...shit was that a snort...what the..? This is the point I become chatty cathy figuring if I talk REALLY LOUD THE BEARS WILL KNOW I'M THERE AND GO TO ANOTHER PATCH. Now Hubster and kids are oblivious and are bounding from bush to bush, popping juicy berry after juicy berry into their mouths relishing the family outing. So I keep talking but after awhile you can only think of so much to say. About the 15th time I ask husband how many berries he has within 10 minutes, he answers annoyed, "About the same dear!" Okay so now what...ooh cough! Coughs will scare bears away! So eh eh cough! Cough! Cough! Then twig snap. Cough! COUGH!! Leaves rustle. Then the thought pops into my head that maybe my coughing sounds like a bruin mating call. Everyone else is having a grand old time with purple fingers, lips, tongue, not a care in the world. Light bulb! Pick really fast and you can get the hell out of the All the Bear Can Eat Buffet. So now I become militant mom. "Quit eating so many berries and fill those buckets NOW!" "Hey quit having fun and pick boy! Thankfully the moment comes when you hear, "Mom I'm cold." Yes!! Perfect. We better go, can't have the boys get chilled. So back to the truck we head. I'm feeling calmer, blood flow is slowing down..phew! Then we get to the 5 foot embankment previously scaled that now has risen to 40 feet. The Hubster and boys start down and look like bunny hill skiers..swoosh..swoosh..Wheeee! Me. I sit on my ass and slide. Brilliant heh? Not. Theres rocks in them there banks. Once down at the bottom, I brush the dust and fir needles off and hop merrily into the truck. As we're heading down the mountain, the boys are slowly drifting off to sleep, the Hubster looks handsome with orangish glow from the sunset shining upon his face. I look out at the passing scenery, miles upon miles of trees, cute little bunnies hopping across the road, and I take one last deep breath of fresh mountain air. I reach over and grab Hubsters hand and say, "I can hardly wait until next year to do this again."